This song is one of my all time favorite songs. I’ve listened to 張惠妹’s version, the original version, a million times. But it wasn’t until I had fully listened to JJ Lin’s version of it tonight that I had realized something. I often wonder about why it is that I have such difficulty getting comfortable with someone. Being able to get close to them. To open myself up to them. And finally, it hit me. This song, this instance, I realized that it was because I feared envisioning a future with them. Without expectation, there can be no disappointment. And for that very reason, I have continued my pursuit for happiness with such detrimental reservations.
So does realizing this help anything? Possibly, but unlikely in the immediate future. Scars like this take time to heal. It requires my willingness, and the patience and persistence of someone special to fix what was once damaged.